Longhorn Jokes, Texas Sucks

1. What do you call a drug ring in Austin? A huddle.

2. Four UT Longhorns in a car, who’s driving? The police.

3. The UT Longhorns have adopted a new “Honor System”. Yes your
Honor, No your Honor.

4. The UT Longhorns knew they had to do something for their defense,
so they hired a new defensive coordinator: F. Lee Bailey.

5. How do the UT Longhorns spend their first week at fall practice?
Studying their Miranda Rights.

6. What do you say to a Longhorn in a suit? Will the defendant
please rise?

7. If you see Longhorn football player on a bike, why don’t you
swerve to hit him? It might be your bike!

8. The Longhorns employ scouts. But to look out for cops, not to
scout high school kids.

9. I heard a rumor that the Texas Department of Corrections plans to
build a new prison in Austin, Texas in order to allow Longhorns to
walk to school.

10. What do you call it, when a Longhorn goes on vacation? Time off
for good behavior.

11. Why couldn’t the Longhorn get into a huddle on the football
field? It’s a parole violation to associate with known felons.

12. Obviously Coach Mack Brown is not paying his players if they
have to resort to robbing people.

13. Book ’em, Horns!